Bridesmaid-ing 101

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Countdown to wedding: 3 days

She said yes, then asked you to be by her side. Now what? 

To me, being a bridesmaid is a big honor. It is a friend saying to another, 'you are so special to me that I want you by my side at the moment I start the rest of my life.' While being a bridesmaid can be not only expensive, but also stressful, it is also and incredibly exciting and special time. The most important thing to remember is that you are there for your bride, not for yourself. Here are my tips for being the best bridesmaid ever! 

Stash away some cash | Dress, shoes, hair, nails, makeup, jewelry, shower gifts, bachelorette party, wedding gift, and travel expenses are a few of the most common expenses that will arise during your time as a bridesmaid. Planning for these expenses and possibly others upfront will not only make your time as a bridesmaid less stressful but it will also help keep drama at bay with the bride. You have to remember that the bride has an image in her head of what she wants her big day to look like and any friction about expenses or refusal to do something as asked is only going to cause problems. Now, I'm not saying that if a bride is expecting you to spend $900 on a bridesmaids dress you should just suck it up, but you must plan for certain reasonable expenses. 

Be supportive | This is a time of change in your friends life. There are going to be lots of ups and downs. Even if your bride has a perfect life and a perfect family and a perfect wedding planner, there are going to be times when she needs you by her side. Even if its just drinking wine and watching a movie, or spilling her guts to you about her fears, being there for her as a listening ear will make her time so much easer. Also, if she knows you're there to talk, she is not going to keep all her emotions inside...meaning she is far less likely to be a crazy bride! #winwin

Offer help | Even if your friend has a wedding planner, she is going to have eight zillion tasks she must complete before the wedding. Even if you are just picking up bottles of water, or keeping track of the gifts the couple gets at showers, that is one less thing for the bride to do and she will be ever so grateful. 

Show up | She asked you to be there, because she wants you there. There is nothing more hurtful to a bride than a bridesmaid who is MIA...and I don't mean for the wedding. There are many many events leading up to the wedding such as showers, fittings and the bachelorette party and your attendance means the most to the bride. Sure, there are plenty of other guests, but sitting in a room full of your future family  and your parents friends can be incredibly intimidating, which is why she needs her girls there. Familiar faces will be her saving grace. Don't get me wrong, I understand things come up and it is impossible to be free every single day leading up to the big day but making a commitment and then backing out is not only frustrating but feelings will be hurt. Being up front about your schedule will save all sorts of drama. 

Be positive | Unfortunately, girls are jealous creatures. It can be hard to watch your bestie prepare for her life with a fantastic guy, when you're still busting out all your best moves when Single Ladies comes on, but your time will come someday. Comparing what she has to what you don't will only drive a wedge between you and your friend that will become harder and harder to repair as time goes on. Be happy for her, you should be after all she is your friend!  Weddings are not competitions over who has the most expensive dress or the prettiest flowers, every bride has a different budget to work with and different tastes and priorities! If they didn't, weddings would be really boring because they would all be the same! Each is beautiful in its own respect and that is all that matters. 

Have fun | Once the wedding is over, you'll never experience that day again! Enjoy every minuet while it lasts! It is a fun time for everyone involved so make the most of it! Take lots of photos and keep a big smile on your face!  
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